We investigate the momentum-resolved spin and charge susceptibilities, as well as the chemical potential and double occupancy in the two-dimensional Hubbard model as functions of doping, temperature, and interaction strength. Through these quantities, we identify a weak-coupling regime, a strong-coupling regime with short-range correlations and an intermediate-coupling regime with long magnetic correlation lengths. In the spin channel, we observe an additional crossover from commensurate to incommensurate correlations. In contrast, we find charge correlations to be only short ranged for all studied temperatures, which suggests that the spin and charge responses are decoupled. These findings were obtained by a connected determinant diagrammatic Monte Carlo algorithm for the computation of double expansions, which we introduce in this paper. This permits us to obtain numerically exact results at temperatures as low as T = 0.067 and interactions up to U = 7, while working on arbitrarily large lattices. Our method also allows us to gain physical insights from investigating the analytic structure of perturbative series. We connect to previous work by studying smaller lattice geometries and report substantial finite-size effects.