Nanocavities formed by ultrathin metallic gaps, such as the nanoparticle-on-mirror geometry, permit the reproducible engineering and enhancement of light-matter interaction thanks to mode volumes reaching the smallest values allowed by quantum mechanics. Although a large body of experimental data has confirmed theoretical predictions regarding the dramatically enhanced vacuum field in metallic nanogaps, much fewer studies have examined the far-field to near-field input coupling. Estimates of this quantity usually rely on numerical simulations under a plane wave background field, whereas most experiments employ a strongly focused laser beam. Moreover, it is often assumed that tuning the laser frequency to that of a particular cavity mode is a sufficient condition to resonantly excite its near-field. Here, we experimentally demonstrate selective excitation of nanocavity modes controlled by the polarization and frequency of the laser beam. We reveal mode-selectivity by recording fine confocal maps of Raman scattering intensity excited by cylindrical vector beams, which are compared to the known excitation near-field patterns. Our measurements allow unambiguous identification of the transverse vs. longitudinal character of the excited cavity mode, and of their relative input coupling rates as a function of laser wavelength. The method introduced here is easily applicable to other experimental scenarios and our results are an important step to connect far-field with near-field parameters in quantitative models of nanocavity-enhanced phenomena such as molecular cavity optomechanics, polaritonics and surface-enhanced spectroscopies.