Predetermined and selective placement of nanoparticles onto large-area substrates with nanometre-scale precision is essential to harness the unique properties of nanoparticle assemblies, in particular for functional optical and electro-optical nanodevices. Unfortunately, such high spatial organization is currently beyond the reach of top-down nanofabrication techniques alone. Here, we demonstrate that topographic features comprising lithographed funnelled traps and auxiliary sidewalls on a solid substrate can deterministically direct the capillary assembly of Au nanorods to attain simultaneous control of position, orientation and interparticle distance at the nanometre level. We report up to 100% assembly yield over centimetre-scale substrates. We achieve this by optimizing the three sequential stages of capillary nanoparticle assembly: insertion of nanorods into the traps, resilience against the receding suspension front and drying of the residual solvent. Finally, using electron energy-loss spectroscopy we characterize the spectral response and near-field properties of spatially programmable Au nanorod dimers, highlighting the opportunities for precise tunability of the plasmonic modes in larger assemblies.